Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the GLBT politics category.
It’s been one of those weeks..
…where I feel like I am doing way too much.. I can’t believe I totally forgot about Blogging for LGBT Families Day when it had been the highlight of my foray into blogging. Although, I think that I can shift some of the blame onto my workplace. While eating my lunch, I used to make a daily stop by Mombian and catch up on a daily digest of news from the world of lesbo parenting, as well as a good round-up of GLBT news in general.. I’d also make a stop at Lesbiandad and partake in a great essay or a cute photo. This is in a workplace where surfing the net is de rigueur and there is no shortage of hits from my colleagues to random personal interest sites of all varieties. Suffice to say, after happily checking in to these sites, about a month ago, when I clicked on both sites, they came up with a huge red stop-sign screen, warning me of inappropriate content and blocking my access. I checked the workplace’s reasonable use of the internet policy, and confirmed that I was definitely not in breach of any of the guidelines. In fact, there was nothing in their content that could be classified as ‘unreasonable’. I’ll never be sure if the workplace has just upped the netnanny software, or, more likely, seen the word lesbian, and banned it. Because in a place that has equal provisions for same sex partners and a pretty progressive HR policy, the word lesbian is still so inappropriate. Even when the website is more about civil rights, parenting and children’s literature than it ever is about sex. Even when I had already mentally checked-off how defensible these sites were before clicking on them. Because I am in a position where I need to choose my battles, this one is going through to the keeper. And because this kind of stuff is so subtle that it does make you doubt yourself. That little voice that starts to wonder maybe there is something entirely inappropriate about a lesbian parenting site compared to a straight one? So, anyway, rather than being reminded by Mombian that Blogging for LGBT families day was coming up so I could go home and write a blog entry, it passed me right by…
Lo & I are off for the long weekend with a group tomorrow, and spent last weekend out of town. I have exams in a week or so, and no wonder I feel like I am not sure where I am going to find the time to study. While complaining how busy things are, while we were in Melbourne, Lo & I bought My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy and I must admit I have been getting my lesbian parenting fix reading it. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. I was worried that I’d find Askowitz neurotic and annoying, but I really loved it and thought that it was the most accurate portrayal of lesbian post-break-up dynamics and so honest, but warm and delightful, at the same time. Lo is in the bath right now reading her way to the end of it and I can’t wait to hear what she thinks. Then, it’s going straight into my book-sharing lesbian ttc circle.
When words are not enough…
While the California Supreme Court has recognised the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, this week the ACT passed its watered-down civil union laws. Numerous attempts by the ACT to introduce progressive civil unions with ceremonies were overridden by the federal government, and finally the ACT caved to a pared back model, which doesn’t ‘mimic marriage’. Too little, too late. On Monday morning there were some brave folks that queued up outside the registrar’s office to sign the paperwork as soon as possible, families with kids in tow. Deserving so much more than this.
I was glad that Lo and I had not waited for our local laws, how sad we would have been with this model, that involves a ‘ceremony’ by the registrar in the government office, but does not allow for any ceremonies of substance. We know the kind of Clayton’s ceremony they’re talking about. The words above are the vows we were allowed to say when we got legally hitched in the British High Commission the afternoon before our proper, but legally non-existant, wedding. Nothing more than these words, in a waiting room, with rows of plastic chairs, a dead pot plant, and a lot of hilarity. We, and the close circle of family and friends present, actually had a lot of fun with the crazy environment, and made it our own. We crowded into that room, Lo & I having decided on our outfits about 30 minutes before, our guests a mix of having dashed straight from work, or wandering in from a day of sightseeing, tourists with video camera in hand. As we read our ‘vows’ and signed our certificate, our guests clapped and cheered and commented ironically on ‘how romantic’ it was.
It kinda was in a way. Romantic in the way that my parents, who have been married for 47 years, got hitched at 18 at the registy office, my mother in a grey skirt suit, a small and random selection of guests, with key players missing, and a small spray of freesias. If a ceremony like that can lay the bedrock for 47 years of a successful partnership it must be doing something right.
It helped that we took ourselves seriously the next day, and had a proper wedding, with words that meant something to us, with proper frocks, flowers, music, a priest, a church, a three tiered cake with the two brides cake-topper I had pestered Lo for so much, and all the signifiers that said that this was a capital W wedding, that demanded we be taken seriously. And our guests did. Ask any of our guests what they saw that day, and they would say a wedding. And the way they treat our relationship now is as a marriage, to the point of introducing me, to my shock and pomo feminist discomfort, as ‘Lo’s wife’. Lo’s 78 year old grandmother said ours was the best wedding she’d ever been to. And that’s saying something. I am not sure where our civil partnership certificate is, probably under a pile of bank statements in the study, but as for the memory of our non-legally recognised wedding ceremony? They’re still talking about it.
